Pool Boy

Jacob liked to play in the pool at our neighbors house in Alabama. He didn't love walking around the pool, but he did love standing on the steps. He got so confident that he even tried to sit on them. Which resulted in self-dunking. But now we can go to the baby pool in Canon and he's able to walk around the whole thing without worrying about stepping off a stair. He's terribly pleased with himself.

Welcome! Now Go To Your Room.

I'm twitching every time a loud firework goes off because Jacob is sleeping and if this shit wakes him up, I am going to go postal on the neighbors and cover their stash with fire extinguisher goo. This is the downside to being close to other people in a small town. Everyone is out on the street, shooting off fireworks. My mom's house is way out in the country and we don't have many people lighting fireworks and if they did, it's at least half a mile down the road. Puts a damper on the popping noises.

So we are back in Colorado and we have moved in with CS's parents. Ya'll, if I make it through this? I need fucking MEDAL.

I've never understood CS's relationship with his parents, as well as the relationships between his siblings and their parents. Most people I know have gotten to the point where their parents are on the same level as friends. I realize not everyone is as close to their mom's as I am to mine, but I generally see my peers in a much more mature relationship with their parents at this point. But the relationships that CS's and his siblings have with their parents must still be in the teenage years. And their youngest child is 24. Remember when you were a teenager and you didn't tell your parents about a boyfriend because you couldn't date or you skipped work because you stayed out too late the night before, etc. because you didn't want to get in trouble? This is what I liken their relationship to. Their kids don't tell the parents about the details in their lives because they will still get in trouble. Not grounded, obviously, but they make them feel like their actions are a disappointment to how they were raised. So the children lie to them and avoid certain situations because their parents cannot accept that they are adults. And as adults, they have the opportunity to make choices that their parents might approve of or think unwise. But they should be able to do so without fear that their parents are going to be upset. Did my mom want me to move to NM with CS? Probably not. Did she want me to have a baby with him? Not really. But she's never made me feel like a disappointment to her for choosing those things.

But I never understood why CS and his siblings choose to pretend about certain things or keep secrets until now. CS's parents are making CS and I sleep in separate rooms. Never mind that we have a fucking BABY, or that we have lived together for two years now. Never mind that I signed the common law form to get health insurance, something that most gays and lesbians are fighting for, correct? His parents believe that it goes against their moral values to allow us to stay here and sleep in the same room. I am 25 and CS is 29. Surely they must know that we are going to continue to have sex under their roof. But the privilege of sharing a bed openly is not ours.

I tried to talk to his mom about it because when she first talked to me, she wasn't sure if that rule still applied since OBVIOUSLY we've had sex, and we are adults, we live like we are married. So when the "house rule" came up, I thought that I could present my opinion on it and have it taken into consideration. WRONG. It doesn't matter that CS and I haven't been on the same schedule for 10 months now, and that I'd like to be able to have some time alone with him. Even though we came very close to ending our relationship less than two weeks ago. It doesn't matter that CS will be able to sleep alone and never have to worry about waking Jacob up with his loud alarm for work. He will never be there for weekend mornings when Jacob pounces on us. There will be no leaky diapers in his bed or crying fits at 3 AM. Since we are not married, we cannot share a room and we cannot be a family. Because of their Values and Morals. Which apparently I insulted by questioning the rules.

But I call Bullshit. This could also be attributed to the fact that his mom doesn't understand why we are not married, and thus it's a good push toward being married if we want to have one bedroom. Also, she blames us for her daughter living with her boyfriend. We are a bad influence.

I am so thankful that I do not have parents like this. I am so grateful that my mother does not rest her personal morals on laurels and force them onto me. I am so glad that I never have to lie to her or hide what I'm doing. That I am accepted in all my flaws because I am her child and she loves me. I hope I can be that kind of mama to Jacob.

And Back We Go

Quick Update:

I should be packing but since I know Sarah has been trying to get a hold of me, I'll try to update quickly.

We are all moving back to Colorado this week. CS was offered a job in Florence that seems to be a really good opportunity for him. It doesn't pay as much as the job that brought him down here did but it pays well enough for us to get by for a while. So Jacob and I are flying out on Wednesday and CS's dad is flying down to help CS get the U-Haul back to CO. We're both sad to be leaving the South, since it's warm here in wintertime and they have a beach! I'm bummed because I just found a church to go to and I was hopefully going to start making friends. Cute babies are good for things like that. Of course, it will be good to be around my family and the friends I have in Colorado. However, it does place me smack back into the same place I was years ago when I decided to get away and live someplace new. We're also going to live with CS's parents this time around. As far as I know, they are letting us sleep in the same room together, although there was a conversation where his mom wasn't sure. Apparently, we are a bad influence on his sister. I think we all know that separate bedrooms do not keep adults from being intimate so maybe she realized this and decided against two rooms.

However, if the bed is only a twin? Then CS will be sleeping on the couch. There is not enough room for me, Jacob and CS. No way, no how.

Taking Baby Steps

No, Jacob isn't walking yet. CLOSE, but not yet. I'm talking about baby steps for me. We went to church this morning and I knew that keeping Jacob quiet and entertained during the service was not going to happen so I planned on putting him into the nursery after the worship service. I was able to hand him off without him even noticing it and I took my seat on the pew and realized that I forgot to check the number they flash on the screen when a baby is inconsolable. I debated about whether or not to go check really fast or just run out of the church when I saw a number. I tried really hard to pay attention and not wonder what he was doing or just go check on him around the corner really fast. Finally, about ten minutes from the end of church I saw a number flash on the screen so I got up to go check and sure enough it belonged to me. The head of the children's group was holding him and he had big tears on his face and he was making the sounds of a baby who has just been sobbing and trying to calm down. He went to me but then a minute later he reached out for the woman who had been holding him and went back to her. I take that as a big, fat "I'm mad at you, Mama." So we went to the Crying Room and instantly he was showing off his talking noises for a five month old named Emma and trying to pull the Glade plug-in out of the wall. Hopefully, he is able to go play next time for the whole sermon and that he doesn't remember it as the place where there is no mama. Because that thirty minutes of alone time, spend acting like an adult and listening to an adult talk about grown-up things was kind of, just what I needed. Plus, Jacob needs to learn to play with other kids, not just with mamas. And dogs.

I Love Grocery Shopping

What I'm cooking this week:

Wednesday: Manwich sloppy joes because I went shopping at 6 PM and we were already out of food. Chips and peas. Jacob had grapes until I realized he would pick up the peas and eat them. However, for every pea that made it into his mouth, three fell to the floor. Hunter was not disappointed.

Thursday: Steak, foil wrapped potatoes on the grill, spinach.

Friday: Pizza made with sausage, mushrooms, yellow peppers, and onions. Or BBQ chicken pizza. Whatever kind I feel like cooking.

Saturday: Chicken Fried Steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy if we don't ruin it again. Maybe a salad.

Sunday: BBQ Pork Loin. It's pre-seasoned so we just throw it on the grill and it comes off super tender. Jacob is going to eat some this time around; last time I thought there were more pieces left and I ate the last piece on my plate. He was still hungry. Baked potatoes and cauliflower, possibly with cheese sauce.

Monday: Hamburgers, tator tots, cabbage slaw with buttermilk dressing.

Tuesday: If I didn't make a BBQ pizza on Friday, then I will either make it today or I will make BBQ chicken with mac and cheese and fried okra.

I have grand plans to make something chocolate-y and possibly a cake-y. Maybe homemade oreos. What I really want to make are Guinness cupcakes with Baileys frosting but I lack both the alcoholic components. I also have mounds of blueberries to go through, some for baby food, but the rest is unknown. I have a recipe for pound cake or possibly a lemon yogurt blueberry loaf.

For lunch, I have a smashed chichpea salad that will go on homemade bread. If only I remembered to get some wheat flour. Seriously, I need a pantry the size of a bedroom. That would be heaven!

A Tale Of Two Fans

On Wednesday night, our air conditioning broke. And it was hot. We suffered through the morning until I took Jacob to the county health department to get his shot where it was blessedly air conditioned. Then we came back home to a 90 degree house. Jacob took a nap and afterwards we went to the neighbors pool. Which was not even cold, that's how hot we were. The repair guy was there fixing the unit when we got back from the pool and declared the problem a dirty filter and, lo, it was cool!

When we got back down to 75 degrees, the unit shut off and then it turned back on again it was not blowing cool air anymore. The fan on the outside unit wasn't turning so slowly the house crept back up to 82 degrees. CS went to get box fans but they didn't do much besides blow slightly cooler air around the bedroom and Jacob's room.

As of now, we're just waiting around for the repair man to come again. I think a trip to Walmart followed by Target followed by the mall might be in order. But someone has to be here to make sure they fix the problem. They better be sure to fix it this time. I'm not going through another day and night of hot air and sticky baby limbs.

Small Things

Decaf Irish Breakfast Tea. Twinnings finally made this in decaf so I can drink it. I could probably drink caffeinated tea now, but I just got Jacob to sleep better at night by turning of the nightlight and I'd rather not mess with a good thing.

My neighbor's open invitation to make their backyard pool my own. If only I had some gabby girlfriends.

The back porch finally cleaned up!

Jacob saying "mamama" all the time.

Sundays at the beach. Jacob has a Coppertone tan. Milky white baby bottoms are adorable.

My new pink sports bra.

Sharing Whole Foods Cheese Curls with Jacob at lunch time.